Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
