he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
