watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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