I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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