What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
