i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
