And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
