i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Someone signed my nipple.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
