How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
