Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
