The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
