you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
