So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
