we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
