after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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