A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
