i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
