everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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