remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
