Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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