I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
