i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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