well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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