I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
