I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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