I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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