Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
