another moral hangover. fuck.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's the barista slut.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My vagina is officially offended.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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