I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
