i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
