handjob tips. give me some.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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