Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
