dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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