Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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