this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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