Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
