Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
