this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i drank out of a bidet.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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