my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
