Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
