I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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