My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
