It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
