everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
