We should be called the Road Head Warriors
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
