no, he came in my armpit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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