question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
