You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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