As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
