Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
