it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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