You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am one with the molecules
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
