How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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