I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize