You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize