tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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