Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
