; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got inside last night via doggy door
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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