Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
