Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
