Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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